June 2011
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i'm just gonna keep shaking my hair cape all...
but really though. i know we’ll get past this, but c’mon man. just stop it. we’re better than this. really, you’re gonna threaten me…?
….you look so dumb right now ~*~rihanna~*~
anywho, onward to more important things, like bffs coming to stay for two days. brb, preppin’ muh liver.
so imma take my gurl rogue’s advice and just…
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made some serious waves with the shakespeare...
LIKE A BOSS.
been awhile since i’ve done it. its a guest favorite, particularly dave’s.
i applaud you all if any of you squinted, zoomed and tried to read this backwards. yall aces in my book.
but if you’re a scrollin’ trollin’ like me on tumbly, then i took the time to type out the good ones. first, the ones i did:
“why did thou tempt me with this...
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two things.
NUMERO UNO: Don’t go home when you’re trying to lose weight so you can actually look decent and noticeably fit for maybe 1.5 photos to be tagged of you in a bikini in Vegas (one week! fuck). You will eat everything in sight. Because you were a fatty at home. Like, no joke, true. ass. fatty. wired, uggo glasses. four eyes, uggo, fatty.
ok so i was going to post a picture of me when i...
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home is wherever im with you.
being home even for a short amount of time makes me realize how lucky i am to love and be loved. to rediscover that significant someone only to realize, again, time is not on your side…
either way. i’m having a blast. my niece is fast asleep beside me, i have a food belly the size of texas and i’m living la vida loca baby and i’m just soooo happy!
and how fucking...
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Carlo Rossi Chianti, dark chocolate pomegrantes,...
my tweet before i gave myself a fucking stomach ache.
NO REGRETS THOUGH. (i fucking love this.gif brb finding donuts)
NO.
REGRETS.
(brb, puking and drinking some sprite and eating saltines).
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i fookin hate packing.
okay foz. you got 2.5 hours to get your shit together, clean up from last night and look hot for your plane ride. get it. got it? good. just remember what tina fey says:
GIDDYUP!
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meetin' and greetin' left and right. gotta keep my...
met an irish fellow who’s musician, in his early forties, runs a business ohhhh and:
-toured with rod stewart and sting
-besties with damien rice
-appreciates u2 but isn’t obssesed
-isn’t married but would like to one day
-is gorgeous (gray’s and all)
-has a fucking irish accent
-has crazy green
-has a dope antique mercedes (he said i could be his hoke to miss....
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You know what I like about you most? You got a...
i know, right.
by the way, this is an example of getting ‘proper fucked’ a la ‘Snatch’ that has nothing to do with sex.
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my daddy is a boss daddy.
lol my glasses in the shot.
his daddy, taught him how to be a boss daddy. he was policeman in his day. aaaand practiced polygamy. YEAH. found that out three years ago. GOTTA! LOVE! FAM! SECRETS!
note the jack he is downing. and the coca-cola in the background. still full.STILL A BOSS DADDY. DON’T NEED NO CHASER. DON’T DRINK NO MIXED DRANK. wifey, take note.
alls i’m saying...
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three weeks.
rock-solid:
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forever fat, forever alone. friday night. 2AM as...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA OMGZ. seriously, i did not distort this image at all. good to know my cheeks are still as forever fat as they’ve been since day one.
i love summer. and i miss the nights that i just stay in, enjoy some vintage SNL, late night with jimmy, fnl and now, pulp fiction. hoorayz to nights alone. not ashamed.
*my roommate is gay. and so is his girl...
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“I didn’t want my picture taken because I was going to cry. I didn’t know why I...”
– ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 9 (via dreamandwake)
by the way, i wasn’t about to cry tonight. i don’t fucking cry easy. it takes a lot. especially nowadays. you hurt me though. twice. the last time, real bad. you were drunk, i know. but the number one thing i hate about guys, is...
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vancouver riots. typical canada. gotta love 'em.
kellyoxford:
Best photo from last night’s riot in Vancouver.
Photo by Rich Lam/Getty Images
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wine drunk = best kind of drunk. tumblying drunk!?...
side-eying alyssa riiigh now. jk! just listening to her intense ass story.
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meeting people for the first time.
tumblr-funniest:
When guys meet for the first time:
When girls meet for the first time:
Featured at Tumblr’s Funniest Posts
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oh what the fuck, seriously is twittascope written...
It may be difficult to make your point today because you might be so serious that you scare someone away before you explain what’s on your mind. Once you realize what’s happening, you’re tempted to overcompensate and become so accommodating that you back away from even broaching the topic. Although you could feel pushed and pulled by the changing tides, it’s still...
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"oh you graduated? NO I DECIDED I WAS FINISHED."
GUHUUUGH?
my mom referred to me as a clown with my mac lipglass on. sooo! great! having! fam! around!
i still can’t believe it all happened. i’m done. finito. liiiiike i have to be a real person for a bit before i start applying to grad schools and such and i’m like “lol whaaa? naah, i didn’t get to finish muh coolage bucket list sooo, keg stand plez.”
...
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this song basically describes me during the last...
it’s chi summer. making a change. starting right now.
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always up or down, never down and out.
fuckin’ a. twittascope on point again, like 100%. especially for tomorrow.
Relationships may appear to be out of control, but you aren’t too worried because you are confident that you can pull everything back together. Actually, you might even enjoy all the action today. Surprisingly, you could get what you want if you maintain a healthy perspective so you don’t act too...
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pensive. i mean sorta...i guess. fuck, family puts...
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the fam is taking their sweet fucking time to get...
IM READY YALL!!! LETS DOOOOO THIS.
me, hopefully in two hours.
me with my bros after probs two shots (so literally add two more will smiths’)
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ew speaking of which, graduating from coolage in...
so i’m postponing the inevitable by sitting on my last final paper that doesn’t have to do with history. literally. i printed it out to edit a bit, i just have to send it…..
but i won’t. heh.
i know gurrrl, i’m cray! love this .gif.
but yeah, cuz then that will mean i’m dunzo. forever. well at least until i get in to grad school, but who am i kidding!?...
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i really love it when close frans but erractic as...
SHAKING MY GAGA HAIR CAPE. weees gon graduate in two days. you leave in four. bitch, be cool.
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9:41 AM. LIBRARY. TWO HOURS AND FOUR MINUTES TILL...
om nom. bagel. tunes. african tee. creepin’ on some dude in front of me doing some jig while tutoring this chick. good times. environmental politics and rhetoric final in two hours whaaa?
you know i love dem black and whites. alas, must return to studying…
BYEEEE.
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so i guess it is possible to be so fucking...
this picture accuaretely depicts 567.10 of of the 546,362 emotions i feel.
and yes, that was an exact count. ;)
and yes, i’m fine. but boys suck. but what else is new? here’s to never taking a chance again. well not exactly. ok. here’s to thinking twice. there. cool.
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